From down in the weeds…

In the editorial report my editor sent me, one of her comments was this:

Inelegant variation and absolute phrases are no longer overwhelming the writing—where did the overwriting go?

I bolded the last part because I wanted to show an example of my own overwriting.

In working on DGtS I’ve been going back into Kinsmen Die to make sure I’m getting my continuity right — events, description, etc. As I do that I’m having to re-read my own writing…which is sometimes a little cringe-inducing.

Here’s an example of the old:

…as if they were caught amid a school of silvery fish. Below them, a river of frozen stars coursed outward, flowing like molten rock and singing with the voice of an avalanche.
The river stretched like a sea monster’s tentacle back into the Hvergelmir, which lay spread below them like an open-petaled flower. At this remove, the cauldron’s voice was the merest susurration, but the way it swirled and spun like fast-moving storm clouds entranced his eye just as it always had. It had thrown eleven giant arms out across the face of the Ginnungagap. The roaring cauldron was fed from above by a never-ending cascade of white fire and from below by red roiling fire.

Kinsmen Die, Matt Bishop

And here’s the new. I wrote it without first going back to see what how I’d originally described the Ginnungagap.

He stared down into a familiar place—the Ginnungagap. Red roiling fire blasted into the Gap from below; flowing ice plummeted from above. And where the two torrents met, the Roaring Cauldron churned, stretching out eleven mighty arms across the Gap. And still the Gap was unfilled.

Dark Grows the Sun, forthcoming, Matt Bishop

So I’m not saying the newer version is good per se, but I do think it’s better than what I wrote 2+ years ago.

And that’s some of the fun of writing — looking back and seeing the progress.

Catastrophes

In the last couple months I finished a couple books: The Magicians of the Gods and America Before, both by Graham Hancock. Magicians is the book to start with.

But before you read it, make the time to watch the video linked below — Randall Carlson on Joe Rogan’s podcast.

The discussion is wide ranging but it centers on catastrophes and how impacts (meteors, comets) have radically affected life on Earth — and not just in the distant past, but as recently as ~13,000 years ago…and even a few hundreds of years ago. But watch the video. I can’t do it justice. Carlson’s breadth & depth of knowledge is impressive.

Hancock has also appeared on Joe Rogan’s podcast. Those interviews are equally intriguing.

Hancock posits the existence of an advanced human civilization that predated the Mesopotamians, Egyptians, Mayans, Incas, Olmecs, etc. This civilization, if it existed, may have been wiped out in one of the catastrophes Carlson describes. But, some of those ancients survived…and maybe what we consider the beginning of our history is actually its rebooting.

But, start with Carlson.

#501 Joe Rogan: Randall Carlson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R31SXuFeX0A